His love & my weakness

God’s love is so good. – I am so weak.

The juxtaposition is enormous: It spans the very concept of height and depth.[1] It conquers death and returns not just to life but to eternal life.[2] It is lighter than light. To it darkness is as the sun. [3]

These are inconceivable: How do you think of height without a ruler, death without a grave, light without shadows?

Yet this is Truth.[4] Unshakable, unalterable, concreted Truth.

His love is so good. When He made me, He wanted me to love Him of my own will. He wanted me to choose to put Him before all things.[5]

I am so weak. I am tempted by the least satisfying things. I am blind to His obvious displays of affection. My priorities are so askew that grasping the idea of putting Him first does not logically work out: How will I eat? How will life work if I am not at work? My mind and heart are ignorant of His promised provision.[6]

Yet He has been pulling for me the whole time, romancing me, hoping I’d turn to Him on my own. He whispered His love to me as a child through the beauty of His creation. I gave Him my youthful devotion and obeyed how I knew to obey.

As I aged, I slipped away, sliding to the world as it showed me its pleasures.

And He appealed to my heart.

“Nothing can satisfy like My love,” His voice floated inaudible though the air. “Nothing can satisfy like My love,” His voice pulsed though the heartbeat of the Earth. Tides flowed in and out resounding to the song He was singing over me.[7]

Sometimes I heard. And sometimes I remembered how it felt to eat from His hands in the forest and to lay before Him in worship. But the world seemed dark and I wandered lonely. My heart was discontent and sought comfort, but no one could reach deep enough. I was lonely with friends. Depressed with the world’s satisfaction.[8]

I felt so far away, lost in the complexity of life as if in the depths of the woods. How could I return to the innocence of my youth? I ran in panic, my heart racing when I could not find what I had. Others gave directions that only wounded me. Hurt and disoriented, I came to the edge of a cliff and fell to my knees. I wanted Him. I needed Him.

He heard my cries. Then He came and lifted me gently, though my trust in Him was failing.[9] You see, He had made a vow with me as a child. When I said “yes” to Him, He promised never to leave me, never to forsake me.[10] And when I felt far away, He was still there. With His vow in mind and heart, He rescued me. He carried me over the threshold. I am too weak to cross on my own.

I am too weak to love Him on my own. He claimed me as His bride and brought me to His chamber room. There He showed me the history of His pursuit, how He had been chasing me for years, how He had been wooing me with every sunset and every starry night[11], with every sweet taste known to man, with every softness that appeals to the sense of touch, His love was in every glorious fragrance.[12] He told me how it was His intent before the dawn of time. His love for me has been strong my entire life, when I was blind, sinning, ignorant.[13] He pulls the moon around the earth and the earth around the sun. That He said is His love. It always has been and always will be. It is an ephemeral sound and a fragrant perfume that envelops me completely.

He has always been pulling for me, hoping I will hold onto Him. But I am so weak. My eyes lose focus; my grasp on His love becomes weak. I slip again. Yet I have also fallen so deeply for Him that I am desperate to hold onto Him. I must cling to Him and, when I find He is not on my heart and mind, I must grip more firmly. And I know He is holding me with all the pressure of the ocean. Pressure so forceful that if I were to even attempt to reach its depth, I would be crushed. It is so strong. While He holds me, He watches with emotion welling in His heart that I might slip again. We are in love. He is desperate for me and I, from a place of my own will, have become desperate for Him.

His love was and is and will continue to be. His love closes the gap between His goodness and my weakness.

[1] For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:38-39

[2] “ ‘O death, where is your victory? O death, where is your sting?’ For sin is the sting that results in death, and the law gives sin its power. But thank God! He gives us victory over sin and death through our Lord Jesus Christ.” 1 Corinthians 15:55-57

“Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm; for love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame.” Song of Solomon 8:6

[3] “If I say, ‘Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,’ even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you.” Psalm 139:11-12

[4] “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” John 3:16 Therefore, Jesus stands in the gap between God’s goodness and our weakness. “Jesus answered, ‘I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.’” John 14:6

[5] “ ‘See, I set before you today life and prosperity, death and destruction. For I command you today to love the LORD your God, to walk in obedience to him, and to keep his commands, decrees and laws; then you will live and increase, and the LORD your God will bless you in the land you are entering to possess.

“But if your heart turns away and you are not obedient, and if you are drawn away to bow down to other gods and worship them, I declare to you this day that you will certainly be destroyed. You will not live long in the land you are crossing the Jordan to enter and possess.

This day I call the heavens and the earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live and that you may love the LORD your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him. For the LORD is your life, and he will give you many years in the land he swore to give to your fathers, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.’ ” Deuteronomy 30:15-20

[6] “’Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?’” Matthew 6:25-26

[7] “The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing.” Zephaniah 3:17

[8] “Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot wash it away. If one were to give all the wealth of his house for love, it would be utterly scorned.” Song of Solomon 8:7

[9] “I call on you, my God, for you will answer me; turn your ear to me and hear my prayer. Show me the wonders of your great love, you who save by your right hand those who take refuge in you from their foes.” Psalm 17: 6-7

[10] “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” Deuteronomy 31:6

[11]“The heavens declare the glory of God;
the skies proclaim the work of his hands.
Day after day they pour forth speech;
night after night they reveal knowledge.
They have no speech, they use no words;
no sound is heard from them.
Yet their voice goes out into all the earth,
their words to the ends of the world.
In the heavens God has pitched a tent for the sun.
It is like a bridegroom coming out of his chamber,
like a champion rejoicing to run his course.
It rises at one end of the heavens
and makes its circuit to the other;
nothing is deprived of its warmth.” Psalm 19:1-6

[12] “and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.” Ephesians 5:2

[13] “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:8


About megannet

I am a self-motivated multimedia journalist seeking a career in the creative film and documentary industry. I am a recent graduate of Kent State University with a B.S. in Broadcast Journalism.

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