The best thing about being 22 is finally being past the immaturity that is a connotation of saying “I’m 21.”
Other than that I once again am not a big fan of the birthday hoopla and entitlement that everyone seems to have just because x number of years ago their mother went into labor. It is not this milestone marker. Remember when I gave birth to myself! What? I had nothing to do with the fact that I was born. So why should I feel this need to celebrate myself.
Now it is quite the opposite having others say “I love you so much I want to take you out for dinner” or “I love you so much I want to have everyone together for something fun.” But I am not going to say “I love myself so much that everyone better fork over money they don’t have to eat dinner together and better clear their schedules cause it is MY birthday and you better love me.” That’s how I feel about birthdays. They are a day to be loved by others not to love oneself. I am not going to force others to love me. I am also not going to have my wall open on Facebook so everyone I ever came into contact with can tell me Happy Birthday. That’s bull. If you love me, you have my phone number. Use it. Is that asking too much? Because seriously if you are like “Uh I love you but I am not going to call and hear your voice or see your face cause that is inconvenient” then you don’t love me. Take some action.
I am tired of words. I am especially tired of the lightness with which we throw around the words “friend” and “love.” Don’t say you love me from the bottomest cockle in your heart if you do nothing about it. And if you seriously are telling the truth then your heart is awfully shallow. Don’t call me your friend and try to uphold the Bible if you aren’t willing to lay down your life and if I don’t know your plans and you don’t know mine. It irks me to have people say they love me or that they are my friend when their words are so empty. I want to shout back that they are liars and to prove it.
The Bible would have been all talk if Jesus didn’t walk.
What ever happened to genuine deep relationships? Do they not exist anymore because I am becoming more of a skeptic in the human race than I would like to admit.
You know maybe one day I will be surrounded by people who love me and want to love me and my birthday will be enjoyable. But for now it is only a hollow reminder of lack.